For several reasons a same-sex union contradicts the nature of marriage: It is not based on the natural complementarity of male and female; it cannot cooperate with God to create new life; and the natural purpose of sexual union cannot be achieved by a same-sex union. Persons in same-sex unions cannot enter into a true conjugal union. Therefore, it is wrong to equate their relationship to a marriage. - USCCB, Between Man and Woman: Questions and Answers About Marriage and Same-Sex Unions
Lately I have felt persecuted, not by the usual culprits from afar - you know, the ones you hear on the nightly news or read about online who make snarky comments about your faith or criticize your beliefs - or make fun of the pope. No, lately I've actually felt targeted by a few of my friends and relatives whom I love and admire, and by acquaintances with whom I hold the utmost respect. It makes me very sad and sorry for the rift in our friendships that, at least for now, seems inevitable. Although I sincerely hope not.
It is all because, to me, the redefinition of marriage to include same-sex unions is as absurd as claiming the earth is flat. I really do believe that marriage should be reinforced, not redefined. And they, my dear, beloved persecutors, do not agree. They have as much as said so, on Facebook posts, Twitter tweets and the like.
I know I'm not perfect, but I have prayed often for the grace to love. And I have tried from early on to do just that. From time to time, throughout my life - mostly while young and single, I had friends who were gay. Not just acquaintances, or classmates, or co-workers, but friends. I hold fond memories of one college friend in particular. Ben (not his real name), was a little bit shy but terribly witty, positively attractive and a very, very talented artist. He was one of those sweet, suffering souls who loved deeply, sometimes too deeply it seemed. If he was hurting, I would lend an ear. We dined together in the dining hall, chatted about life, and art and I even trimmed his hair once or twice. I couldn't have loved him more if he had been my own brother. Just because he was gay, I wouldn't have treated him any differently.
But that was then.
And now? What about now with thirty years separating us and a lifetime of experience, of marriage and raising children and of growing closer to God? Has the broadening of my understanding of the Church's teaching on marriage and family made me less loving toward those who do not embrace these same teachings? Has acceptance of these tenets, which my very core knows as truth, rendered me closed-minded, hateful, judgmental, politically incorrect and un-hip? Would I now turn away from my gay college friend, avoid him altogether or sling insults at him? No. I know I would love him still, despite feeling ever so strongly that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman instituted by God, and that no one - not even our government - has the authority to redefine it. And it saddens me that the truths I have come to embrace are in danger of slipping away - not solely due to gay marriage laws, but by the proliferation of divorce, sexual promiscuity, pornography, contraception and abortion. I know all too well that for too long the institution of marriage has been eroding and over the years too few public warriors have been defending it with little or no reinforcements. Their voices often have fallen on deaf ears. Yet, there are many behind the scenes, sweating it out in the trenches, who have heeded the call. By entrusting themselves and their families to the teachings of Christ and His Church and living them, they are fighting the good fight - maybe not perfectly, but with conviction and with love. They are the true warriors along with countless holy parish priests and religious.
The world is cruel to those who it deems different; to those it does not understand. Hatred exists in many degrees; in many fashions. We have seen it, heard it, witnessed it too often - most of us very likely have been subjected to it at one time or another. We have been ridiculed because we are too fat, or too thin. We are poked fun of because we have special needs, we talk funny or we appear odd. Perhaps we do not speak English fluently or at all. Maybe we're too poor, or too smart or too dumb. We may be too old or not old enough or not yet born. We're too conservative or too liberal. Maybe we're gay or maybe we're not. Maybe we're just too religious or not religious enough. But we all bleed when we're cut; we all feel pain - physically and emotionally. We have all suffered at the hands of others and it is wrong. It is cruel; it is sinful. Most of us, I'm sure, have even been the instigators of cruel jokes and name-calling at times, yet, all of us are imbued with the potential to make a difference in someone's life; to love - to be Christ's hands and feet. To lift others up when they are down. To share joy and sorrow. No matter how similar or how different a person is, we are called - commanded by God - to love. Everyone.
And one of them, a doctor of the Law, putting him to the test, asked him, "Master, which is the great commandment in the Law?" Jesus said to him, "'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind.' This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like it, 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:35-40)
He never ceases to love any one of us, his children, but that doesn't mean our sinful lifestyles are acceptable to Him. He constantly calls us to repentance. We know from reading the gospels that Jesus hung out with sinners all the time, because they (we) are whom he came to save. He ate with them, conversed with them, taught them, and in His infinite mercy forgave them and told them to go and sin no more.
Some folks get all uptight about Christians being too judgmental. They don't want to be associated with their overly judgmental brothers and sisters(granted some do fit the bill). "Who are you to judge? You're not God!" Of course, they are right, we are not God - it is not our place to judge a person's soul ... but what of his actions? Jesus gave us the tools to recognize sin in our lives and in the lives of others, too. We were given guideposts (e.g., the 10 Commandments, the Precepts of the Church, the Beatitudes, Holy Scripture, the Sacraments, teachings of the saints, papal encyclicals, prayer, etc.) to help us recognize when we're on the right path and thankfully, when we're about to veer off. Because He loves us and desires our union with Him in Heaven, He has supplied the tools we need to get back on track. Charity compels us to desire Heaven not only for ourselves, but for others, too, and our Christian duty is to help them get there. Tolerating and approving any sin simply because it makes someone happy is not love.
Ah, but you see, that can't be right. The Catholic Church has it all wrong! We, Catholics, have been duped by over 2000 years of the workings of the Holy Spirit! By accepting and fully believing all that Mother Church teaches - (and I do or else praying the Nicene Creed every week at Mass makes me a liar) - I have closed my mind or lost it. I am naive, intolerant, and, sadly, not progressive. Worst of all, they claim that the Church has made me an irrational, homophobic hate-monger.
Really? Hmm ...
It is not unjust to deny legal status to same-sex unions because marriage and same-sex unions are essentially different realities. In fact, justice requires society to do so. To uphold God's intent for marriage, in which sexual relations have their proper and exclusive place, is not to offend the dignity of homosexual persons. Christians must give witness to the whole moral truth and oppose as immoral both homosexual acts and unjust discrimination against homosexual persons. The Catechism of the Catholic Church urges that homosexual persons "be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity" (no. 2358). It also encourages chaste friendships. "Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all" (no. 2347). USCCB, Between Man and Woman: Questions and Answers About Marriage and Same-Sex Unions
St. Thomas More, pray for us!
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