Resolved

"The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul." G.K. Chesterton

I don't often make New Year's resolutions, but my friend Kathy at Faith on the High Wire is hosting a New Year's Resolution "Linky Party" and her invitation to 'attend' has given me an opportunity to consider making new promises to myself, to God, and to share my thoughts here.


We measure our lives by the passing of years. I am 50 years old. I have been married for 25 years. This year my grandson will celebrate his first birthday. Some events are celebrated joyfully and others are marked by sadness or simple nostalgia. I am sure there is nothing wrong with looking forward to special events, beach vacations, going out to dinner, or retirement, but I'm beginning to think that I am way too attached to my anticipation of certain events and to my expectations of how they will unfold. I expect that grandbabies will be born on or near their due dates, and that their mommies will never become too ill to care for them. I expect that daughters will graduate from high school and head to cosmetology school because all she's talked about for the past year is how much she loves to style hair. I expect that sons will drop out of college, but not drop out of Church. If I've learned anything in 2010 it is that although it is beneficial to make plans, I mustn't cling to them; mustn't own them, because God always has other plans.

And so, I have come up with only one resolution - to live my life from one moment to the next. I don't mean merely to exist from one moment to the next, swaddled by indifference and boredom, tackling one perfunctory task after another like some lifeless automaton. No, I will not wish my life away - beginning my Monday wishing it were Friday and complaining that weekends are never long enough or relying on the anticipation of an upcoming event  to motivate me to merely muddle through the next few months. I resolve really and truly to live my life from one moment to the next; to seek Him each and every day; to find Him everywhere, in every situation; to invite Him into my simple, ordinary, very little life and abide with Him there. And to be a most gracious host, grateful for His coming. Always grateful for the gifts He brings, particularly the gift of the present moment.

Christmas Morning Photos

Daybook on the Fourth Sunday of Advent

FOR TODAY

Outside My Window

A nearly full moon shines brightly in the evening sky illuminating scattered patches of snow that have decided to stick around for awhile. Silhouettes of trees stand black and tall reaching heavenward. It is cold, but not quite as frigid as it has been. Christmas lights twinkle in a gentle breeze. It is a beautiful night.

I am Remembering

Erin, probably no more than two, spied a full moon one evening, extended her arms and cried out longingly, "Oh, moon! My moon! My moon!" I think about that moment every time I see a moon full to overflowing.

From the Kitchen

Thursday will be our big baking day. I will make my grandmother's molasses cookies. Actually, they're Freda Foley's molasses drop cookies. I assume Freda was my grandmother's friend. Christmas would not be the same without these cookies. Nor would it be the same without Margaret McMahon's coffee cake. I'm not sure who Margaret McMahon is or was, but the recipe comes from Jim's grandmother and we always serve it Christmas morning. It is simply delicious, packed with nuts and cinnamon. It is scrumptious with hot tea later in the afternoon, too!

I am Grateful for

I began praying on my drive over to the adoration chapel on Wednesday afternoon. Exhausted and near tears, I asked Him to give me peace. I asked Him to give me the grace to rest in His Presence and to stay aware. He heard me. I listened. My hour seemed only minutes when I suddenly realized it was time to leave. And I departed in peace, renewed once more.

I am Wearing 

My red Belmont Abbey sweatshirt over a cream colored mock turtleneck, jeans and Sperry Topsiders.

I am Creating

A Christmas home! Complete with all the sights, sounds and smells of this holy, wondrous season. This final week of Advent brings heightened anticipation marked by a childlike giddiness. Help me, Lord, to soak it all in.

On Pandora

At the moment: "The Holly and the Ivy" by the Cambridge Singers

I am Going

To work for only 3 days this week ... yippee!

I am Reading

My collection of Christmas books for children. I just brought them up from our basement this afternoon. Isaac was only interested in chewing on one.

I am Hoping

I am able, with His grace, to really and truly ready my heart and soul.

I am Hearing

A moment ago, I heard a fox screeching out back. I also heard Isaac crying in his crib upstairs. He was just going to sleep when I think he, too, heard the harrowing wail. The first time I heard a fox cry, I wondered if someone was being murdered along the path behind my house. It's bone-chilling!

Around the House

I finished the decorating with the exception of a few last minute things. I will cut fresh holly from the bushes beside the house and evergreens, too, to place here and there on Christmas Eve. It feels very, very good to have it done - but there is still quite a bit of cleaning to do, especially my bedroom. I'm not sure if it was a hurricane or a tornado that whipped through there, but whatever it was, I've deemed it a disaster area. And boy, does it make me crabby!

I am Praying

For Katie who is better in some ways, but still not feeling very well and having issues with her vision in one eye. She is excited to return to her apartment with Sam and Isaac and I am very happy for them. But, oh how I will miss them, especially that baby boy! Thank goodness they only live 10 minutes away!!

One of My Favorite Things

Jim singing all the wrong words to Christmas carols, but with a twinkle in his eye and a spring in his step. And the wonderful, awkward way he wraps his gifts for me.

A Few Plans for the Week

Work. Clean. Bake. Cook. Party. Midnight Mass! (Maybe there will be snow!)

I am Pondering

Joy and Sorrow - twin sisters born of Love!

A Picture Thought

Thank you, Jim Dear!

One of our first ornaments.

Now there were Shepherds

Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." When the angels went away from them to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." So they went in haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them. (Luke 2:8-20)

The night watch began like any other. The shepherds, residing in caves hewn from the rocky hillsides, stand vigil, protecting their flocks; determined to stave off any ravenous predators lurking about in the shadows. As they peer out at their fold, just as they have done countless other nights, the glory of the Lord suddenly illuminates their world as the angel of God delivers a message of great joy! The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone. (Isaiah 9:1)


Although the Lord may well choose to shake us out of our complacency by means of a supernatural event; it is unlikely any of us will be visited by an angel. However, He invites us to venture outside of ourselves; away from our own obsessions, illusions, or insecurities and be ever vigilant so that when grace-filled moments do arise we may recognize His voice. And sometimes He challenges us to let go of old hang-ups or to view a situation in an entirely new light. And He always calls us to trust Him even when, and most certainly when, the mere thought of doing so brings anxiety and fear. Why are we so afraid? We tend to cling to old habits because, like old, worn-out slippers, they are comfortable and make us happy even though they really do us no good.

Our Lord also calls us to share the Good News either by word or deed. This, too, sometimes makes us uncomfortable; so uncomfortable in fact that we miss an opportunity to enlighten others. Perhaps we're embarrassed or don't want to offend. We fear lost friendships or - the situation I identify with most - we feel it's really none of our business. Nevertheless, the News truly is Good and begs to be shared. Initially, the shepherds are struck with great fear upon seeing and hearing the angel. Of course, God has just rocked their world in a huge way! But they choose to trust the message of the angel and immediately set off for Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made know to us. And when they see Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger ... they make known the message that had been told them about this child.

Will we allow our fear or uncertainty to paralyze us? How far will our trust propel us?

(c) 2010 Darby Fitzpatrick

A Pilgrimage Toward Christmas

The following originally appeared in a series of  reflections I had composed for an Advent program at my parish in 2006. I've tweaked it a bit here. I'd almost forgotten about it, but I thought of it again as this past week has had me seeking Jesus in the quiet places of my heart - away from the anxiety of figuring out "the perfect" Christmas presents and the constant flurry of my online purchasing - away from the busyness of this pre-Christmas season. I simply wanted to hunker down and soak in all the treasures and wonderment of waiting. Additionally (and regretfully), it has been another bad week for Katie, as she's now been hit with migraines, including dizziness and nausea. In the flurry of caring for her and Isaac this week and juggling my work schedule, I was graced by a few quiet moments when I could hear His whisper - when I knew He was still there residing in my heart and calling me to be at peace. As I continue my own journey toward Christmas, I pray for the grace to be always ready to answer the call to solitude and oneness with Him.

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In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing is impossible for God.” Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her. (Luke 1:26-38)

Perhaps Mary had stolen a few silent moments alone in the grotto behind her house to pray to God. While in deep communion with her heavenly Father the angel comes to her.  Her holiness, her perfection permits her to recognize the angel as other-worldly, yet St. Luke tells us she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. A faithful and virtuous young Jewish maiden, Mary is very familiar with Holy Scripture and leads a life of prayer and obedience. She knows that God sends His messengers during moments of great significance. Gripped by uncertainty she questions why God is visiting her in such dramatic fashion? What has she done? Has she offended Him somehow? Gabriel quickly calms her troubled spirit commanding her to be not afraid for she is in fact God’s favored one. He states God’s will for her and also offers an explanation of just how she will soon become the mother of the Savior of mankind – “the holy spirit will come upon you …”

“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Imagine that immediately prior to these words - to Our Lady’s fiat - all of creation stood still in hopeful anticipation of the words that would result in the fulfillment of mankind’s centuries long expectation. Imagine the evil one paralyzed by fear and anger now realizing that this was indeed the woman spoken about in Genesis. I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers. He will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel. (Gen. 3:15)

Mary, ever eager to please God knew that this responsibility would require great sacrifice; the first indication of the cross she must also bear. Accompanying this suffering are peace and joy; the peace and joy that can only come from surrendering our will completely to God, so that it is no longer our own, but His.

In this place of seclusion, this grotto, God, by way of His messenger, comes to Mary. It is here that the most significant moment in history occurs. It is here that the Word becomes flesh and dwells among us – Hic Verbum caro factum est – because Mary was ready, willing, and able to say yes.

As we continue our advent journey how disposed are we to welcoming God’s message into our own hearts? How do we prepare interiorly? Will we be able to say yes to what He has in mind for us? Do we fear the sacrifices that must be made; of leaving our comfort zone? Will the cross be too burdensome? In the midst of the ‘busyness’ of our lives, can we even hear His voice let alone decipher the message? We must quiet ourselves as God approaches us in our solitude.

From the great prophet Elijah’s experience in a cave atop Mt. Horeb we learn that God sometimes speaks to us gently and quietly. Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, "Elijah, why are you here?" (1Kings 19:11-13)

To recognize and hear His voice when He whispers to us, we must gaze inside ourselves and examine what we find hidden in the crevices. If we take an honest look at who we truly are, by entering the cave of self-knowledge, what do we discover? We may find our hopes and our fears; our strengths and our weaknesses; our sinfulness and our vulnerability. And then gratefully, like Elijah we may hide our face in our cloak because we, too, may hear a tiny whispering sound and be able to respond, here I am Lord, I’ve come to do your will. (Psalm 40:8-9)

 

Mary’s obedience and desire to do His will was built upon trust. She trusted Him completely. I am praying for that kind of trust, so that I, too, may discover His will for me at every moment and be ready, willing, and able to answer with nary a second thought, "may it be done to me according to your Word."

(c) 2010 Darby Fitzpatrick

On Forgiveness

In my previous blog post, Thanksgiving Daybook, the day after, I mention that I am pondering the topic of forgiveness; more specifically, our obligation to forgive those who do not seek repentance. Some may assume by reading this that I am currently struggling with forgiving someone; however that is not the case. The question posed continues to tickle my brain ever since my spiritual director and I discussed it several years ago. He posits that we are not obligated to forgive others when it is clear that they don't want us to and they hold no remorse for knowingly offending us. Based on conversations surrounding forgiveness that arise often, I have discovered that almost no one agrees with this position. So, I guess I am still trying to 'get my head around it'.

In agreeing with my former spiritual director, does this mean that I don't have a forgiving heart? No. I fully understand 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those' and I know that if we choose not to forgive someone, we cannot expect our heavenly Father to forgive us:
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt. 6:14–15).

This morning, I discovered an excellent article, that I highly recommend, on the Catholic Answers - This Rock web site written in 2003 by Jimmy Akin entitled, The Limits of Forgiveness.

In his essay, Mr. Akin discusses: Forgiveness and Feelings, Anger and Sin, Anger and Forgiveness, What Forgiveness is Not, Preemptive Forgiveness, and What Forgiveness is. This piece has offered the clarity and reassurance I have been seeking - particularly the final two sections. Allow me to quote from the article:

We aren’t obligated to forgive people who do not want us to. This is one of the biggest stumbling blocks that people have regarding the topic. People have seen "unconditional" forgiveness and love hammered so often that they feel obligated to forgive someone even before that person has repented. Sometimes they even tell the unrepentant that they have preemptively forgiven him (much to the impenitent's annoyance).

This is not what is required of us.

Consider Luke 17:3–4, where Jesus tells us, "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him."

Notice that Jesus says to forgive him if he repents, not regardless of whether he does so. Jesus also envisions the person coming back to you and admitting his wrong.

The upshot? If someone isn’t repentant, you don’t have to forgive him.

If you do forgive him anyway, that can be meritorious, provided it doesn’t otherwise have bad effects (e.g., encouraging future bad behavior). But it isn’t required of us that we forgive the person.

This may strike some people as odd. They may have heard unconditional love and forgiveness preached so often that the idea of not indiscriminately forgiving everybody sounds unspiritual to them. They might even ask, "But wouldn’t it be more spiritual to forgive everyone?"

I sympathize with this argument, but there is a two-word rejoinder to it: God doesn’t.

Not everybody is forgiven. Otherwise, we’d all be walking around in a state of grace all the time and have no need of repentance to attain salvation. God doesn’t like people being unforgiven, and he is willing to grant forgiveness to all, but he isn’t willing to force it on people who don’t want it. If people are unrepentant of what they know to be sinful, they are not forgiven.

Jesus died once and for all to pay a price sufficient to cover all the sins of our lives, but God doesn’t apply his forgiveness to us in a once-and-for-all manner. He forgives us as we repent.

Yes, we still need to have a heart of mercy. God desires all of us to reside in Heaven with Him and I do believe, as Mr. Akin points out in his conclusion (please see article), that we must have the same attitude toward forgiveness as our Heavenly Father does. We, too, should will that all God's children repent of their sins and offenses. If someone has sinned against us knowingly and remains unrepentant, we must never cease to hope and pray for his salvation while we offer the deep sting of our wounds to Christ, our true healer.

Thanksgiving Daybook, the day after

FOR TODAY

Outside my window

I spy a new squirrel's nest nestled in one of our maples along the property line out back. Most of the leaves have fallen and our trees stand bare against a steel gray sky. It's blustery and colder now than when I first stepped outside this morning to walk the dog. Off and on all morning a light drizzle has been falling covering everything in a fine, glistening mist. The air is pungent with an autumnal aroma. For some reason it reminds me of collecting chestnuts as a young child on Long Island. I loved cracking open the outer casing and running my fingers over the smoothness of the nut inside. I wonder if that's why I adore "The Christmas Song" - you know, Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ...

I am thankful for

So, so much. This has been one of the best Thanksgivings I can remember. Everyday I thank God for the blessings we've received over the past two months. For all the friends and family members who have helped us out during Katie's illness by cooking dinners, buying Isaac diapers, formula, clothes. For all the letters, e-mails, and cards of encouragement & support. For those who came to help care for Katie and Isaac while the rest of us headed off to work. For all the prayers, sacrifices, Mass intentions offered by so many kind souls - even those who don't know us, but heard about Katie's illness through friends & family or my blog posts. For Katie's doctor, Dr. Cintron, who figured out the 'real deal' and continues to offer her and Sam (and all of us) so much hope. And I am thankful, too, for life's trials; for the suffering that brings me closer and closer to Him and for the Grace He gives to endure it all, knowing all the while that my burdens are His burdens and none are too heavy for Him to carry with me and for me. I am thankful for Faith, Hope and yes, Love. Love that the world knows not and can never know without His Grace.

From the kitchen

A successfully delicious meal prepared, presented and consumed yesterday. I LOVE THANKSGIVING! The girls (Katie and Erin) made pies, a cheesecake and cranberry sauce on Wednesday. I managed to get my cornbread (for stuffing) baked late Wednesday night. At 6:30 Thanksgiving morning I headed down stairs, put on a pot of coffee (Starbuck's Thanksgiving blend - my fav!) and started preparing the stuffing. First I removed "the bird" from the basement refrigerator, so it could warm up to room temperature. I decided on making a cornbread stuffing so that Erin could eat it - it's gluten free! It was made with bacon, celery and leeks. Very yummy. I stuffed the turkey, buttered him all over, covered him with a piece of cheesecloth that had been soaked in melted butter and dry white wine. Basted him with the butter/wine mixture every 30 minutes or so until it was time to remove the cheesecloth (about 2 hours in) and then I used the pan juices. Oh, my gosh! What a delicious turkey! Our sides consisted of green beans tossed with a cherry vinaigrette which proved to be very refreshing, a sweet potato pudding that was out of this world yummy, of course, the stuffing and Katie's cranberry sauce - more like a relish, I would say. Everything was a variation of what I traditionally serve on Thanksgiving - only more grown-up. Okay, so maybe I'm bragging - but Erin and my brother both said it was the best Thanksgiving meal they've ever had. And that, of course, made me very happy.

Can't wait to eat the leftovers! 

On Pandora

Veni, Veni Emanuel (Mannheim Steamroller)

- an tad early start on Advent which starts Sunday

I am wearing

Still in my p.j.'s!! :)

I am thinking

About all the descriptions and photos of beach house rentals that I've been poring over the last few weeks. I just need to stop being a perfectionist, pick one and reserve it for next June!

I am creating

Lists. Of all sorts of things, because I'm a list person. Without my lists I am disorganized and forget what I need to get, do, plan. 

I am going

Somewhere fun tonight, but shh, it's a secret - for now.

I am reading

For Advent I am looking forward to reading: Advent and Christmas Wisdom from St. Francis of Assisi. Compiled by John V. Kruse. Liguori Press.

I am hoping and praying

That Katie's health continues to improve. She is doing remarkably well and is even talking about returning to the apartment soon. 

I am hearing 

Some of the deck furniture scooting around in the wind. The temperature continues to dip ... brr!

Around the house - inside and out

I will begin my pre-Christmas cleaning. It includes washing windows inside and out, as well as tidying up the outside entry-way. My flower beds have been cleaned up, but I've left a few petunias that continue to bloom. I still have lots of roses on my small rose bush. The flowers are perfectly lovely, white with a blush of pale pink.  Every time I gaze upon it I am reminded of Our Lady's constant love and prayers.

One of my favorite things

In the whole world is greeting Isaac and getting him up after he awakens in the morning. He is always so happy! This, I will miss terribly when they go from here back to where they need to be. And, true enough, there is joy in knowing Katie's health will allow it. 

I am pondering

Forgiveness. Specifically, this question - if someone is not sorry for an offense he's committed against us, knowing full well it has harmed us in some way, and has no intention of asking for forgiveness are we obliged to forgive him? To do so really does nothing for him, but perhaps only makes us feel better. When God forgives us - it's for our sake, not His. Before Our Lord forgives us, aren't we also obliged to ask His forgiveness and have - at least imperfect, if not perfect - contrition for our sins committed against Him? Do we follow this model when forgiving one another?

A few plans for the weekend

Planning to enjoy Megan and my brother, Fr. Jim, before they head back south on Sunday. Hoping to spend some time tomorrow out and about with them and Erin, Katie and Isaac - perhaps head to Reston Town Center to window shop and watch the ice-skating and maybe even slip inside a cozy restaurant for a hot toddy!

A picture thought

My Chickies

 

Opera Company of Philadelphia "Hallelujah!" Random Act of Culture

Mid-November Daybook

For Today

Outside my window

Another gorgeous November morning. Crisp and clear - not a cloud in the sky. Fallen leaves blanket the lawn, but there are still quite a few clinging to their branches. Their hue is richer now and electrifying against the deep blue sky.

I am thinking

About veterans - with a grateful heart. Especially my Dad who fought in WWII against the Japanese. That war changed him; it changed all of us - it changed the world. Offering special prayers today for all service men and women; past and present and the ones to come. Praying, too, for peace. The peace that only God can give and is possible if only we opened our hearts to Him.

From the kitchen

Yummy, yummy recipes for Thanksgiving dinner. Considering these sides:  Sweet Potato Pudding with Pecan and Gingersnap Topping; Corn Bread, Bacon, Leek & Pecan Stuffing; Green Beans w/Toasted Walnuts & Dried-Cherry Vinaigrette ... still looking at more recipes.

 I am wearing

My black yoga pants and my gray Ocean City sweatshirt

I am creating

Nothing really ...

On Pandora

Norah Jones radio - right now, 'Love' by Matt White

I am reading

bon appetit magazine - Thanksgiving special, food network magazine - the Thanksgiving issue, Martha Stewart Living - November issue and a variety of blog recipes - e.g., Annie's Eats and The Pioneer Woman.

I am hoping

That after Katie finishes her "tapering down" steroids that she will have no other ancillary health issues. I hope her body will bounce back after two successive bouts of steroid withdrawal.

I am hearing

Katie playing with Isaac - singing and laughing. Isaac giggles and raspberry blowing! MUSIC to my hears!

Around the house

Just trying to keep things orderly ...

I am praying

for my step-sister who was recently diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and someone I used to know who is battling another kind of rare cancer. She has asked for prayers through the intercession of Venerable Solanus Casey, who happens to be one of my all time favs. Please join me in prayers for this beautiful woman - a homeschooling mother of 8 whose littlest one is just over two years old. Her name is Deb, and for my step-sister, Brenda, too.

One of my favorite things this week

Watching Isaac eat bananas for the very first time. He LOVED them!

A few plans for the weekend

I need to find a dressy camisole or maybe a shimmery tank to wear under a dress I bought to wear to the Divine Mercy Care Gala on Saturday night. The dress is pretty, but waaaaaaaay too revealing otherwise.

 I am pondering

His unfathomable ocean of Love and I can't stop pondering it.

A picture thought

Erin, who turned 23 this week, with her big sister Katie circa 1989

From the simple woman's daybook

(c) 2010 Darby Fitzpatrick

Feeding her baby

That smile on Katie's face - so incredibly good to see!

Isaac's a little uncertain, but he decided very quickly that he likes rice cereal!

Sam is enjoying this special moment, too!

So sweet!

At last, good news ...

Katie had an appointment with her neurologist, Dr. Cintron, last night. He was very encouraging and explained that what made her so sick and sent her to the hospital the last two times was steroid withdrawal. The doctors at the hospital did not prescribe any steroids for her to take at home to taper off from the IV doses she had received.  Unbelievable. So much suffering could have been avoided had the physicians at the hospital made smarter decisions for my daughter.

The lumbar puncture results did not show any antibodies for MS, so Dr. Cintron thinks that she most likely contracted a virus and instead of her immune system attacking the virus it attacked the myelin sheath of her spinal cord causing the transverse myelitis. He is not completely ruling out MS, there is a slight possibility, but she has no lesions on her brain either (the neurologist at the hospital said she did and was 100% convinced she had a horrible case of MS). Apparently 50 % of patients who suffer from transverse myelitis do not have MS. He wants to check her again in three weeks and then have her undergo another MRI in 6 months and then again in a year.

Katie still has a fairly long road ahead. Healing will take time and she may not notice improvement on a daily basis, but each new week should be better than the previous one. Dr. Cintron said she should be feeling back to normal or very close to normal by the beginning of the new year. He also prescribed the correct dosage of oral steroids for her to take. They are designed to allow her body to begin creating its own natural steroids again.

After the lumbar puncture, he also ran an extensive test for Lyme disease - which includes detecting the tick's DNA in the spinal fluid. There was no evidence of it at all. He does not recommend any further testing for Lyme.

We are encouraged by this news and are looking forward to the day when Katie is up and about and taking care of all the normal things moms take care of. I cannot wait to see her picking up that adorable little boy, bathing him, running after him and tucking him into bed at night. What a glorious gift that will be - so simple; so profound.

A thousand thank yous, dear readers, for your thoughts and prayers!! Our Lord has graciously heard them and He has carried us through this trial with His infinite Love and Mercy. He is so GOOD! You all remain in my daily prayers.