pretty, happy, funny, real :: in which we bid adieu, dear Papa!

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

{pretty}

We have had the most amazing sunsets here lately.

{happy}

I try not to get carried away by, (i.e., attached to) material things. But the fact that I have my first new car in 21 years (lots of new 'used' cars since) does, as a matter of fact, make me a little happy:

And yes, a week after buying the new car we replaced our 30 year old refrigerator with this beauty:

And that makes me a little happy, too!



{funny}

This is Margaret trying to kiss Holly. The two of them are such cuddle-bugs, although I much prefer M's big, fat, wet, mushy kisses to Holly's licking!

{real}

Late this morning, with tears flowing, I blew kiss upon kiss toward the image on my television screen of our now retired Holy Father departing the Vatican for the last time as our Supreme Pontiff. The depth of my sorrow surprised not only me, but the wee hound, Holly, who peered up at me quizzically, wondering, I'm sure, what had caused such an outburst of sobbing and wailing.

 

 

I recall how overjoyed I was those nearly 8 years ago when Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger's name was announced as our new successor to St. Peter. At the time, I was working at my parish office and I along with my co-workers had been glued to the television set anticipating the grand news, Habemus Papem! We have a pope! If that wasn't exciting in and of itself, we all whooped and hollered, jumped for joy and hugged one another as we learned the identity of our new Holy Father. I will never forget that day. 

 

 

Today, it hurts to see him go, to bid him adieu - even though I know - I trust - his stepping aside is the right move. For the next few weeks we, like little orphans, are without a Holy Father. But the Holy Spirit will not keep the ship captain-less for long. These are exciting days and weeks ahead - days of deep prayer and fasting. Appropriate for Lent, yes. In hope and in trust and in profound gratitude to God, we look forward to being swept up into the glory of Easter, perhaps with a newly elected Pontiff at our helm. May God make it so!

No pictures here in this spot this week. Just the parting, final words of our dear, beloved Pope Emeritus, Benedict XVI.

"Thank you, thank you from my heart. I am happy to be here with you, surrounded by the beauty of Creation and your friendship that does me so much good, thank you for your friendship, for caring.
You know that today is different from others … as of eight p.m. I will no longer be the Supreme Pontiff of the Catholic Church. I will simply be a pilgrim who is beginning the last part of his pilgrimage on earth.

"But with my heart, my love, my prayer, with all my inner strength, I will work for the common good and the good of the Church and all humanity.

"And I feel greatly supported by your affection. Let us move forward together with the Lord for the good of the Church and the world.

"I will now impart upon you all my Apostolic Blessing.
Thank you and good night. Thank you all."

—Pope Benedict XVI


{p,h,f,r}

Join in every Thursday, at Like Mother, Like Daughter! 

Tapestry Tuesday

Surrounded by His glory:

Rain. At first sight, it appears the trees, bare-armed and glistening, are shivering in the gusty breeze. However, the temperature seems rather moderate as it has warmed up significantly throughout the morning. Earlier, however, I spied enormous wet snowflakes mixing in with the rain, despite the weatherman reporting all rain across the metro region.

This Place:

We are certainly not bereft of chores around here. There are closets and entire bedrooms to clean out and the work in our basement continues. I just find that I need a little more 'oomph' to get it all done. I should never look at the huge, whole picture that lies ahead, as it has a way of overwhelming me and it just makes me want to curl up with a good book and sip tea all day. I suffer terribly from the "I will get to it tomorrow" syndrome. Unfortunately, tomorrow never seems to get here.

When the kids were small, I recall joking that when they were all grown and out of the house, I was going to sleep for a very long time. I think that must be part of it.

My Bookcase:

I am reading three books all at once. And you know what that means, it takes me longer to complete any of them. Gee, if I'd only stick to reading one at time!

Here they are - in no particular order -

Consoling the Heart of Jesus, by Father Michael E. Gaitley, MIC

A wonderful Lenten retreat (and treat!). Fr. Gaitley leads the reader/participant through a DIY Ignatian retreat with the goal of drawing us closer to the heart of Jesus by learning how we can console Him in the midst of the many great offenses against His most Sacred Heart. Highly recommend!

The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis

This is the current choice for a monthly book club I oversee. I have decided to set it aside for now and will pick it up a few days or so before we're due to discuss it. I have read it before, love it and can't wait to discuss it with the book club ladies.

The Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace,  by Tamar Adler

I have this on my Kindle because Katie asked me to read it. She wanted to be able to discuss it with someone. I haven't progressed too far, but what I've read is fascinating. I love Ms. Adler's writing style and thus far, I've enjoyed her thoughtful meditations on the frugality of eating and cooking. I am happy to know that it is perfectly fine to boil vegetables! And who knew you could do so many things with eggs? If you are interested in enhancing your take on food and cooking, it is certainly worth the read.

Verbum Dei:

From today's Responsorial Psalm - Psalm 34 - So comforting to know we are not alone in our sorrow.

When the just cry out, the Lord hears them,

and from all their distress he rescues them.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;

and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.

 

Oremus:

 

This takes my breath away:

  

Paraphrase of the Lord's Prayer
by St. Francis of Assisi

OUR FATHER
most holy,
our Creator and Redeemer,
our Savior and our Comforter.

WHO ART IN HEAVEN
in the angels and the saints,
giving them light to know you,
since you, Lord, are light;
setting them afire to love you,
since you, Lord, are love;
dwelling in them
and giving them fullness of joy,
since you, Lord,
are the supreme, eternal good,
and all good comes from you.

HALLOWED BE THY NAME,
may we grow to know you better and better
and so appreciate the extent of your favors,
the scope of your promises,
the sublimity of your majesty,
and the profundity of your judgments.

THY KINGDOM COME,
so that you may reign in us by your grace,
and bring us to your kingdom,
where we shall see you clearly,
love you perfectly and,
happy in your company, enjoy you forever.

THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN,
so that we may love you with all our heart,
by always having you in mind;
with all our soul,
by always longing for you;
with all our mind,
by determining to seek your glory in everything;
and with all our strength,
of body and soul,
by lovingly serving you alone.
May we love our neighbors as ourselves,
and encourage them all to love you,
by bearing our share
in the joys and sorrows of others,
while giving offence to no one.

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD,
your beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ,
so that we may remember and appreciate
how much He loved us,
and everything He said and did and suffered.

AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES,
in your immeasurable mercy,
by virtue of the passion of your Son,
and through the intercession of Mary,
and all your saints.

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US,
and if we do not forgive perfectly,
Lord, make us forgive perfectly,
so that, for love of you,
we may really forgive our enemies,
and fervently pray to you for them,
returning no one evil for evil,
but trying to serve you in everyone.

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION,
be it hidden or obvious,
sudden or persistent.

BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL,
past, present or future.

 



 

Pondering and musings:

 

Exactly one week ago, I was awakened at 7:13 a.m. by a phone call from my brother, Fr. Jim. (No, I am not an early riser.) He informed me that Pope Benedict XVI had announced that he was renouncing the papacy and stepping down as leader of the Catholic Church by the end of the month. For a split second, I thought perhaps it was April 1st and I was NOT going to fall for an April Fool's joke such as this. "What?" "You're kidding, right?" I immediately realized that it was still very much February. My brother assured me of it's validity, but still, after we hung up I wondered if I were dreaming. We all know, of course, that I was not.

 

As the news began to really settle in, I was overcome by sadness. I recalled how overjoyed I was by the news of Cardinal Ratzinger's elevation to the papacy and my admiration and respect for the holy pontiff has only grown over the 8 years of his reign. But I also knew that Pope Benedict prayerfully considered his decision and I trust that he knows that he is doing the right thing for the Church. Like many, I admire his humility and profound love for our Church and Our Lord.

 

Well, the media has had a field day with this announcement. I knew that all sorts of opinions would be shared on television, in newspapers and online. Some of the commentary has been outlandish, some downright comical, and unfortunately some of what I have seen in comboxes has been abject and vile, not to mention the sordid and disgusting tweets to the Holy Father or about the Holy Father that I've read about.

 

Who are these people? I am not naïve enough to think that everyone loves and admires the pope. I understand that some people have issues with the Catholic Church and her hierarchy - even from among the ranks. But why must one resort to filthy insults and castigation?

 

And then I remembered someone else who was mocked and spat upon.

 

"He offered Himself to those who hated and mocked Him. He lent Himself to the convenience of His executioners." - A. G. Sertllanges, from What Jesus Saw from the Cross (another book I've started recently).

 

And I'm sure, like Christ, the Holy Father loves these lost souls profoundly and prayers for them in earnest. And so must we.

 

Great and small; all creatures:

 

Holly striking a pose.

“Apparently that dog of hers joined you in the water.”

"Yes, that’s right, he took his dip with the rest of us. But what’s that got to do with it?”

"Wilbert Cream dived in and saved him.”

"He could have got ashore perfectly well under his own steam. In fact, he was already on his way, doing what looked like an Australian crawl.”

"That wouldn’t occur to a pinhead like Phyllis. To her Wilbert Cream is the man who rescued her dachshund from a watery grave. So she’s going to marry him.”

"But you don’t marry fellows because they rescue dachshunds.”

"You do, if you’ve got a mentality like hers.”
  
― P.G. Wodehouse, How Right You Are, Jeeves    


Family Glimpses:

Me with my dad, Easter 1962.
Dad passed away 29 years ago this month.
I still miss him.

 





Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real :: A Valentine

Happy St. Valentine's Day! 

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

{Pretty}

Since Isaac Jogues is only 2 1/2, I'm sure he won't mind me placing this photograph under the {Pretty}heading. I can't help it. Just look at those eyelashes. 
Watch out, Grandpa, it's this little guy who has me swooning this Valentine's Day. 

{Happy}
 

 Isaac is very happy when he is able to help with 'heavy duty' chores and he loves to push things around (including his baby sister, but that's another post). Almost every time he comes over to play in the backyard he heads straight for the wheelbarrow. Last Saturday he helped Grandpa pick up all the broken branches and sticks that were scattered on the ground all around the house. On Sunday afternoon Grandpa accompanied by Isaac pushing the wheelbarrow, took a long stroll through the neighborhood.

Really, it was very cute.

  

{Funny}

Margaret looks like a little frog princess in her fleecy REI green bunting.
A thrift store bargain Katie found a few weeks ago. 

{Real}

 

 Holly and I were inspecting what the squirrels and the winter elements have been busy doing to my Halloween pumpkins. I am almost certain I'll have pumpkin vines growing under the crape myrtle this summer. It may be fun!

Saint Valentine, pray for us.

{P, H, F, R} 

Join in every Thursday, at Like Mother, Like Daughter! 



Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

Hello, Thursday ::  

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

{Pretty} 

 My husband and I love snow, but other than a few fast moving clippers we have not had much at all this winter. Rain is predicted to begin late tonight while areas just to our north and west will be getting snow.  The past few winters, we seem to be either too far north or south or too far east or west for any decent accumulations.

{Happy}

A favorite moment from last summer. 

Two year old, Isaac and Margaret at 4 months.  
My happy grands.

{Funny}

The day after my niece's wedding in North Carolina my brother and his wife hosted our annual 4th of July family gathering at his beautiful home on Lake Norman. This is a photo of my brothers and sisters, in-laws, me and my husband and my Mom. For some reason the dog from next door (my sister-in-law's brother's pooch) decided he needed to be a part of each and every family photo. He wins the prize for the most cooperative and most photogenic. By the way, that's me in the blue and white shirt standing directly behind my mom who is seated and holding my little, pampered pooch Holly. 

{Real}

I am [very slowly, like a snail] working on cleaning out the storage room in our basement.

There is only about 30 years of crap junk piled up in that room. My husband recently built wonderful, massive wooden shelves on wheels to help in the organization effort and to add a new place to house my Christmas items that have previously been stored in the loft above our garage. The excessive heat last summer melted some of the Styrofoam packaging.

 

These are just some of the books I've set aside to give away. I've barely made a dent.

But who is in a hurry? 

{P, H, F, R} 

Join in every Thursday, at Like Mother, Like Daughter! 

The Little Things

There are pros and there are cons to empty-nesting. I could make lists of each, but for now I want to celebrate one amazing {for me} pro.

All, and I mean ALL, of my laundry has been washed.

Well, except for the stuff currently in the hamper upstairs. That doesn't count.

What I mean is, there are no clothes, towels, table cloths, sheets, bedspreads or dog bedding left in my basement laundry room waiting until who knows when to be laundered. It is ALL washed and dried and folded! To some, this may seem hardly worth mentioning. You may wonder, "So, what's the big deal?" You may think me daft or just plain lazy to have never completely had my laundry caught up. You may very well be right. Maybe you have never cast aside sheets or bedspreads leaving them for another day. The trouble is those really important items - like underwear - whose laundering needs are far more critical, always take washing priority over the less needy items. Add to the mix the times your adult children disrupt your washing marathons by barging in to wash their own dirty clothes {yes, I do appreciate that they did (or do) their own laundry} and everything tends to back up. So those less important things are simply left waiting.

Our son moved out about a week and a half ago. I know, bitter sweet. My husband also fixed the timer switch on our dryer. Just plain sweet! Both of these events inspired me to tackle and complete this amazing laundry feat, which included washing the old rags I used to mop up the powder room and the ensuing waterfall in the basement when the toilet unexpectedly clogged and overflowed on Wednesday.   

Anyway, my husband and I are celebrating, because I have not seen these bins completely empty for a long time:

Yay! Just Yay!

And now that it's just my husband and me - except of course when Megan is home from college - my laundry room should pretty much look like this all the time. Right?

I mean, easy-peasy, right?

Yeah, right.

LOL!

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

This is my first foray into {p,h,f,r}.

In some ways, it seems to make more sense to say:  {Pretty Happy and Real Funny}. But maybe that's just me. ;)

Anyway, here goes ::

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

 

{Pretty}

 





A (small) snowstorm blew in last week during a spell of frigid temps.
A week later, it was 70 degrees.
Tomorrow we are expecting another little snow.
Winter in northern Virginia.


{Happy}

This is *HAPPY* our son's 13 year old (or thereabouts, no one is certain) cat.
Some think this is a misnomer, but he is tending toward kindness in his old age.



{Funny}



In August, my daughter, Erin, will be attending medical school at Campbell University in NC.
Erin knew previously, but on a recent trip to the campus I discovered that their mascot is a Fighting CAMEL!
Cracked me up!

(BTW, there is a story behind how they acquired their name.)



{Real}

 My reality. Little dachshund poops.
Little dachshunds poop A LOT.
 

Dear harried Daughter

I'm no theologian, but I am pretty sure it is okay to pray while you're showering or brushing your teeth and while you're loading the dishwasher or folding clothes. Sometimes, all you can manage is to pepper your conversations with God throughout your day between diaper changes and wiping up spilled milk. Sometimes all you may manage are deep sighs of "Jesus, help me!" or "I give it all to you today." If you manage to squeak out a quick morning offering, you are doing well.

I remember long days, exhausting days, when all I wanted to do is to run away; when I could hardly wait until your father got home. And those days - one rolling into the other - when I felt like nothing I said was getting through, when I really was just talking to the walls.

I begged the walls (because there was no one else to beg), "When will they learn not to clobber each other, but share nicely instead?" "Will there ever be a day with no tears, no whining, no temper tantrums?"

Those were long days.

The walls offered no answers, but wondered, instead, when I'd finally get around to washing off those sticky, little fingerprints and crayoned curly-cues. Stupid walls.

These days Isaac's smudges live long on my windows. Grandmothering has a way of giving you a delightful new perspective.

Curse those dark days when I did what I vowed I would never do - spank your little bottoms, employ the TV as my mother's helper, lose my cool and scream like a banshee, resort to threats, bribery or shameless groveling. And then ... the guilt. Oh my gosh - the guilt. It would swell up and spill over and down my cheeks.

That's when I would call your grandmother.

Don't fret, my darling. Mothering is hard. Plain and simple.

My grandmother used to say, "Unfortunately, children are not born with a set of instructions." It all seems at times to be nothing more than a grand experiment. What works with one kid, is bound not to work with the next or the next. Trial and error. Three steps ahead, two steps back.

Somewhere along the way, and certainly not soon enough in my young marriage, I learned to ask Our Blessed Mother to fix whatever I messed up that day. For a long time, that's all I could pray each night as my head sunk into the pillow. Well that and an abbreviated version of the Act of Contrition - "God I am so sorry. Give me the grace to do better tomorrow."

I'm certain Our Lady made good on my desperate pleas, as none of you has ended up in therapy ... well, not yet anyway. And neither have I. And the one who was the hardest to raise, the one I tangled with the most, is now my biggest fan. And that is a balm that soothes my worried mother's soul.

Over time, situations and details will fade from your memory, but what remains is love. You will always love them and more than everything else, it is all they really need. 

Love, love, love them. And if it hurts you know you're doing it right.

Loving you madly,

Mama



Katie and me
March 1986

 

 

Katie and me
July 1987


 

Katie and me
August 1988

Tapestry - mid January

Surrounded by His Glory

Hello sun, glorious sun, I've missed you! Even the brisk and swirling, winter wind refreshes my soul today.

This Place called Home

Jim has been busy building shelving units for our new storage room in the basement. The room itself is not new, but it has a new name. For years we have referred to this space as the basement office as it once housed our computer and file cabinets. The file cabinets are still there, but no computer, no desk. For the past I don't know how many years it has become a catch-all for all the myriad of things you never quite know what to do with, but are not quite ready to banish from your life. Those things have a way of multiplying, yes? The room has become a disaster and needs a thorough cleaning-out. I am now (beyond) ready to rid my life of so much of it! Sorting through everything and organizing what we decide to keep (for now) has been deemed my winter project. I was going to begin this week, but the week-long gloomy weather and post-holiday crash got the best of me. (I guess you could call it being lazy, but I think every once in a while one benefits from a week of doing absolutely nothing.) I am ready. Let the organizing begin!

Verbum Dei

The Reading from Morning Prayer this morning:

Never let evil pass your lips; say only the good things men need to hear, things that will really help them. Do nothing that will sadden the Holy Spirit with whom you were sealed against the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, all passion and anger, harsh words, slander, and malice of every kind. In place of these, be kind to one another, compassionate, and mutually forgiving, just as God has forgiven you in Christ. -- Ephesians 4:29-32

The New American Bible propitiously lists these verses under the heading: Rule for the New Life.

I am going to make it my Rule for the New Year. It's what is lacking in the world; a world that so desperately needs kindness and compassion, that so desperately needs God. It begins here, in my own heart, in all our hearts.

Oremus

Offering thanksgiving for the birth of Gabriel Paul and Liam David, beautiful and healthy twin sons of Meghan and David Coen. Welcome to the world, sweet babies!

Pondering Them in my Heart

From Interior Freedom by Jacques Philippe:

"Often, we fail to accept others because deep down, we do not accept ourselves. If we are not at peace with ourselves we will necessarily find ourselves at war with other people. Non-acceptance of self creates an inner tension, a sense of dissatisfaction and frustration that is then taken out on others, who become scapegoats for our inner conflict. So, for instance, when we are in a bad mood with people around us, very often it is because we are discontented with ourselves! Etty Hillesum wrote: "I have gradually come to realize that on those days when you are at odds with your neighbors you are really at odds with yourself. 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.'""

The temptation to say, "Yeah, but ..." is strong. Yet, if we are truly honest with ourselves?

Quote of the Day

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." - C.S. Lewis

Be careful about what choices you make, He honors them.

All Creatures Great and Small

As I mentioned previously, I have recently developed an affinity for peafowl. In ancient times, people thought the flesh of these majestic birds did not decay after death, hence they became a symbol of immortality or life-eternal. The many 'eyes' on the peacock's plume signify the all-seeing eye of God. The peacock is also associated with the Resurrection, as it sheds it's old feathers for new ones every year. They are stunningly beautiful creatures.



But mostly I'm in love with peafowl, because I'm smitten with Flannery O'Connor and she raised them on her farm. These photos were taken with my (not smart) phone this past summer at a local county farm park near my home.

Glimpses of Family 

Christmas Eve

Margaret's first!

Sam helping Isaac try on his new TOMS shoes from Auntie Erin

Christmas late morning

Megan probably won't like this photo, but she is always clowning around. It captures her spirit of joy. And it makes me laugh.

Erin's stocking goodies. One weird, one yummy!

He always makes it difficult to get a good photo. Too early in the day, I suppose.

Crushed by the weight of empty

... as I took down the Christmas tree the other day.

 

 

Taking down the tree is always a little sad, but this time was different. I actually cried real tears.

Damn you, menopause.

Well, fine, menopause probably had nothing to do with it. (Well, okay, maybe just a little.) And no, it didn't help to listen to woeful songs on Pandora, especially ones about getting older and kids growing up and leaving.

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when
                                                (Alan Jackson, Remember When)

Will Christmas ever be the same again? I wondered as I carefully lifted the angel from the top of the tree. I looked at her face. She was clueless. Sure, it has been different the past few years with kids coming home from college only weeks before, and Katie being married - but the movement over the past few years toward a more adult yuletide has never really bothered me (and the presence of grandbabies helps, too). I've handled it well, done okay. Rolled with the punches.

Until now.

Because when I really think about it, it's not about Christmas at all.

It's about life.

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too

Well, I'm getting older too

 

                             (Stevie Nicks, Landslide)

Another one is leaving, moving on and my house suddenly, quite suddenly, seems too big.

I realize she has been living away from home since last summer - but currently she only lives 20 or so minutes away. In August, my daughter Erin begins medical school in North Carolina. It is ridiculous to curse this distance. On a good traffic day she will be less than 5 hours away by car. So why the heavy heart, especially when she is so excited and friends and family -- especially her dad and me -- are all so very happy for her?

I remember how I felt the months and weeks leading up to Katie's wedding. I remember because that's how I'm feeling now. Proud as punch, so very grateful, excited and sad.

In a way, Erin has been preparing me for this since she was a curly-haired tot. She was born with a fierce streak of independence and ambition. She crawled and walked at an earlier age than my other kids. She climbed out of her crib before the age of two and ever since has been somewhat of a risk taker, or maybe she's more of a thrill seeker, but a smart one. As a toddler, she, more than the others, deprived me of cuddle-time always eager instead to explore the world around her, content to have me nearby, but not one for lingering hugs and kisses. Yet, even now you know when she loves you because she takes that very seriously and just doesn't offer it willy-nilly. She has little patience for stupidity, but will laugh heartily over the silliest, funniest things and of course, you can't help but laugh with her. Over the years she has accomplished so much, always giving 100 per cent to any endeavor - including building her relationship with God. Her faith has carried her far. She's worked exceptionally hard and is thrilled to begin this next phase, moving closer to her dream of becoming a physician. For Erin, it is more than a dream. It is her calling.

She is growing up and moving a little further away, needing her mama less. I cannot express how proud I am of her and how much I love her.

Or how much the letting go hurts.

The future Dr. Erin Fitzpatrick
at Campbell Univeristy

 

When there is nothing left to squander

 

When all is stripped away.

When there is nothing left to cling to;

to hide behind.
 

When blame like aged mortar crumbles, when

bitterness and anger take wing, 

spewing sullen contrails that swirl away

 into nothing.

 

When you is all you have

and nothing more save shame.

 

 

 Hear the breeze rustling through the sinewy, primeval pine.

See how the sun, ancient and wise begs to warm you;

to free you.

 

Search atop that hill where Love keeps watch,

ever ready to descend,

ever ready to embrace.
 

Inviting you to

dance once more.