50 Ways to Lead Your Lover ... to Heaven

This morning, as I was cleaning out old files and folders, I happened upon this fun, little ditty that I composed a few years ago. It is modeled after Paul Simon's 1975 hit 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. I think it came about after my friends, my husband and I had been discussing the importance of praying and offering sacrifices for our spouses. Made me laugh when I read it again. :)

50 Ways to Lead Your Lover ... to Heaven

The problem is all inside your soul, she said to me.

The answer is easy if you take it theologically.

I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free.

There must be fifty ways to lead your lover.

She said, yes, it really is my habit to intrude.

Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued.

And I'll repeat myself at the risk of being rude.

There must be fifty ways to lead your lover ...

Fifty ways to lead your lover.

You just pray to Him, Jim.

Burn a few palms, Tom.

Daily Mass, if you like, Mike.

Just get yourself free!

Hop outta the den, Ken.

You don't have to discuss much.

Just respond to the call, Paul.

And get yourself free!

Okay, I realize I only list 5 ways - not 50. But hey, I betcha we could come up with 50 ... what do you think? Help me finish the song!

Darby C. Fitzpatrick (c) 2010